28 September 2010
Daddy’s Girl
When I was four years old, my dad took me fishing. It was a bright and sunny day, almost perfect. My family and I piled into the car and headed towards the lake. When we arrived, Dad grabbed my hand and said, “Let’s go!”
We both grabbed our fishing poles and took off towards the old wooden dock. Upon reaching the dock, Dad, knowing how to fish, had his hook ready to bait it. I watched him for a minute and tried to copy him but could not quite get it right, so I looked up and asked, “Daddy will you bait my hook for me?”
Dad always makes things into lessons so instead of doing it for me he said, “Do it yourself after I show you how.” After showing me how, I did the best I could then dropped it in the water. Not soon after that, Dad nudged my arm and said, “spit in the water.” Of course, that sounded weird so I asked why and the explanation he gave, I didn’t believe: he said it would bring me luck.
I could not help but think, “Yeah, right…” As we sat there, I lost track of time. It seemed like we had been sitting there for an eternity. When I had finally had enough, I asked, “Daddy, when will I catch something?”
Mr. Patient, of course, had to say, “Give it time, you’ll catch something soon.”
I was stubborn so I argued back, “I’ll never catch anything! I hate fishing!”
Again, he said, “Give it time, don’t give up so easily.”
Well, I got quiet but started to fidget around in my chair. I tried to be still but I just couldn’t. I was entirely too bored. “Ugh, this is so stupid! We’ve been sitting for over an hour and not one bite!” I started swinging my feet and playing with my pole along with taking the worm out of the water and dropping it back in. Anyone could see that I was getting annoyed. I had given up catching a fish long ago. I asked Dad if we could go home, but then he said something that made me straighten up.
“Listen closely,” he said. “Look around you, what’s around you right now?” he continued.
“I see water, trees, birds, people, clouds, and a bunch of stuff.” I answered.
“That’s right, so now tell me, is that stuff really that boring once you think about it?”
I answered “no” and went back to fishing. At that moment, Dad said something I’ll never forget. “Don’t get bored with life, open your eyes and look around you, there’s always something new to learn and mistakes to be made so don’t give up, just keep trying, and do your best to make use of the time you have.” At the time, I was too young to fully understand it but I made sure I remembered it, word for word.
About that time my pole started to jerk. “Jerk it, jerk it! Set the hook!” Dad yelled.
“I’m trying, I’m trying!“ I yelled back. It felt like a whale had taken hold of my hook, but being so little, any fish was a big fish. I reeled as fast as I could. I was jerking and pulling, fighting with all my might until finally, I reeled it in. “Wow, my first fish!” I said, very shocked.
“Pretty good for your first one, now re-bait, put it back in and try for another,” Dad said with a big smile. We continued to fish for the rest of the afternoon without getting bored. I sat and looked around, thinking about what Dad had said. I remember it every time I go fishing.
Not too long after that day, we received a call from the hospital. It was my grandma. She was deathly sick and we needed to hurry to the hospital right away. The doctor said she was not going to make it and the nurse was telling us we needed to say our goodbyes before it was too late. Mom packed our stuff up and said, “Come on, get your things. We have to go.” I wasn’t quite sure what was going on but I didn’t mind going to see grandma. We loaded the car and went on our way. I knew it was serious because everyone was so quiet. I started wondering if she was okay. I knew not to say anything because everyone looked so tense and worried. Not even the radio was playing.
We arrived at the hospital and drove around the parking lot. Of course, there weren’t any spots open and Dad started getting mad. He started yelling out cuss words and muttering under his breath.
Mom calmly said, “Drive around until you find something. Calm down. Eventually someone has to leave.” When we finally found a spot, Mom got us all out and told us to hold hands. As we were walking up to my grandma’s room, I could see people pacing back and forth, looking like they were worried for their lives. I could see doctors and nurses running from room to room. I even saw blood on one of the patients coming in. We walked for a long time, down this big corridor and I started to wonder if we were ever going to get there.
“What room is she in?” I asked.
“Just follow us and behave.” Mom said. Finally we turned the corner and there she was.
I yelled, “Hey Grandma!” with excitement in every syllable.
I sat down on the bed and started talking to her. My mom hugged her, my dad asked if she needed anything, and I, well I jumped up on her bed gently and gave her a big kiss.
She was smiling at me when the doctor came in the room. “Mr. and Mrs. McKinley, may I speak to you out in the hall please?” said the doctor. Suddenly my grandma was no longer smiling. My parents followed the doctor and my grandma’s attention turned back to me.
“You know you were always my favorite, right?” asked my grandma.
“Oh don’t be silly, I’m still your favorite, and when you get out of here, we’re going to do all sorts of things right?” I said, innocently. Grandma had a tear running down her face and before she could answer, my parents walked into the room, also crying. “Why is everyone crying?” I asked curiously.
“Come on sweetie, the doctor wants us to wait out in the waiting room for a little while.” I looked at my mom as she said that, not quite ready to leave my grandma. I quietly whispered in my grandma’s ear; “Don’t worry, I’ll be back later and we can talk about all the stuff we’re going to do.” She smiled at me as the nurse ushered us out into the waiting room.
In the waiting room, there were more people. Short people, tall people, ugly people, pretty people, young and old, quiet and loud, but as different as they all were, I was pretty sure they were all waiting on their grandmas just like I was. My family and I sat for a while and just looked around. I started to get bored just sitting, when suddenly I started to think about what daddy told me. I should not get bored with life, but come on, even he would have to admit that a waiting room was pretty boring. While I was pondering that, the doctor walked up to us, and again he addressed my mom and dad. “Mr. and Mrs. McKinley, I’m sorry to inform you that she didn’t make it.” They started crying, my dad hugging my mom. That’s when I realized my grandma was gone. I’m glad she used the little time she had left to talk to me and let me know that she loved me.
Since that day, hospitals and I don’t really get along. Here recently, my dad got put in the hospital because he had cellulitis in his leg. Now cellulitis is caused by a type of bacteria entering the skin, usually by a cut, or break in the skin. Since he’s type II diabetic, it’s no real surprise that he got it but it was still hard to hear. It was a horrible time in my life. My dad is my best friend, besides my mom. I had just woken up to my alarm when my phone suddenly went off again. Half awake, I answered. It was my dad. “Good morning, Daddy.” I said trying to get out of bed. I was half worried that he was calling to tell me to get out of bed, but he wasn’t. I wish now he was. He told me that he was in the hospital and that he wouldn’t be out in time to take us to school so I was going to have to get mom up. My world crashed the moment he said, “I’m in the hospital.” It wasn’t something I wanted to hear. I ran to my parents’ room and got my mom up and told her about the phone call. She was calm and that comforted me. She told me to get my little brother, Austin, up and ready to go. I did as I was told and we went to school. I was upset.
I could barely get out of the Jeep. My mom told me not to worry and that it would all be okay, but I thought “How could it? I could be losing my dad at this very moment and I can’t even be with him. Instead, I’m at school.” To say the least, I knew it was going to be a long day. The first person I saw was Alex. I told him I needed a hug and like a good friend, he gave me one with very few questions. The next was Julia and she told me it was going to be alright and that my dad would pull through. I thanked her and continued walking down the hall. I wasn’t paying attention ,I wasn’t able to control my emotions and I started crying. The rest of the day, I cried but nobody dared bother me or try to comfort me.
Finally, school was out. We went back home and called Dad. He wanted to see us so we got back into the Jeep and headed for the hospital. This wasn’t the same as I remembered with my grandma. This ride was calm and quiet, but not uncomfortable-quiet. We talked about how Dad was going to be just fine and how we couldn’t wait to see him. We got there and quickly found a place to park. Surprisingly, it was right next to my dad’s car. We got out and grabbed the stuff we brought for him and headed for his room. His room was easy to find because we really wanted to get there and see him. We walked in and I almost cried again. He was lying in bed talking to a guy who was lying on the other side. His leg was all red and bumpy. It was hard to look at and looked really painful. I ran up and hugged him. We stayed for a little while and talked. I told him I missed him and wanted him to get better as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, the doctor had explained to us that cellulitis had a recovery period of anywhere from 48 hours to six months. We stayed until it was getting dark and then mom said we had to leave. I kissed him and said I’d call him later.
We got back home and we calmed down. We called him later that night and heard that he was coming home in a couple of days. I was ecstatic. I could not wait for him to come home. When I called him again that night to tell him I was going to bed, he said what he had told me when I was younger. I couldn’t see how it fit in that situation but for some reason it made me feel a lot better. He got home later that week, still until this day, his leg is red and bumpy, but he no longer has the infection that he once had.
Looking back now to a certain time in my life, I started thinking about what dad said. This point in time really made me think. Dad said, “There’s always something new to learn and mistakes to be made.” Well, this one event made me learn about family. You need family more than anything in the world and I learned that when I was adopted. See before I came to this house, I was in a home that was horrible. It had unimaginable things that went on, and it was unsuitable for a child. I had a horrible life. I was with people who were mean and couldn’t take proper care of me. In fact, it was so bad that I had to be taken into custody, and found a foster home.
A foster home is a home for children just like I was. It’s a new home where I could finally experience love, kindness, and the feeling of an actual home. When I first arrived to the house I live in now, I was a mess. My hair was ugly, my teeth were bad, and I was crying my eyes out on a regular basis. It was not a pretty sight, but my parents loved me just the same.
My mom would listen to all the stories I had to tell her, and I had a lot. I was only about three when I was put into this new home but I knew a lot that I shouldn’t have. My parents did everything they could for me to make me feel wanted. I even had a new little brother. Of course, he wasn’t my blood brother but he was my brother none the less. Finally, they gave me the ultimate surprise, which made me feel more then welcome.
It started when one morning mom got us up and told us all to get our best clothes on. We took this long car ride until we finally reached this huge building. I was so shocked at how big it was. Being as young as I was, I didn’t fully understand, so when we walked in the building I could not help but say, “Is this our new home?”
Mom didn’t laugh, she just smiled down at me and told me to stay quiet for just a little longer, while we waited. This nice lady walked up to us and said, “Right this way, if you’ll follow me we’ll get you all set up.” Of course, we had no choice but to follow her. We walked into this big, clean, kind of scary looking room. I asked mom why we were in here and she quietly explained that this is where the judge would come out and talk to us. About that time, the judge walked out and smiled at us. I started to get nervous. I didn’t know what to think. Of course, I’d never been adopted before so I had no clue of how it worked.
I figured getting adopted would be hard but to my surprise the judge picked me up and asked, “Do you like this family?” Well, what was I suppose to say? No? I loved this family more than anything. So mom and dad signed some papers, took some pictures and talked to the judge. Finally, he picked me up for the last time and said, “Welcome to your new family!” He had the biggest smile on his face that I could not stop from smiling too.
The nice lady came back over to us and said, “Ya’ll are all ready to go have a good day.” Mom said, “thank you,” and we left.
I smiled all the way home. I was so happy. When we got home, mom got the camera out. “One more picture.” Mom said.
“Aw, come on mom!” I complained.
“You don’t get adopted every day, just take the picture! Don’t forget to smile!” Dad kept urging. Finally, after the entire picture taking thing was done, the calls started. We called our closest friends to tell them the good news. The conversations went something like this.
“Kitty, Ray, You’ll never guess!” Mom said, excitedly.
“You adopted the kids?” Kitty guessed.
“Well way to ruin the game, but yeah we adopted the kids!” answered Mom. We were laughing at the calls and things our friends said when suddenly Mom got an idea. “Let’s go out and eat. You know, as a family.” It seemed like a great idea to us so we got all dressed up again and took off.
At the fancy restaurant, Mom asked me if I was happy. I smiled and told her yes that I was very happy. Dad being the cool guy he is, cut in and told us we could have whatever we wanted, so order and enjoy. We did. We had all sorts of food and then all the desert we could shove in our mouths. It was great. After we were full and tired, Dad paid and we went home. We got in bed and Mom and Dad tucked us in. It was a great ending to a great day. I said goodnight to my parents and went to sleep thinking of how important this day was and how my life would never be the same.
I think school was when I finally realized what dad was trying to tell me. If I don’t give up, I can do so much more than if I just stopped and said, “Oh, this is too hard.” If I think life is boring, then how am I enjoying it? I’m going to make mistakes and I’ve definitely proven that throughout my school years, but each mistake is a new lesson learned so I’m learning every day and making mistakes at the same time. We don’t have a lot of time here on earth, so we need to do what we can, good or bad, with the time we have. This is what he was trying to tell me when I was just a little girl.
I realized this when I was about to give up on math because I couldn’t count to one hundred. To fix that, Dad sat me down and made me write to one hundred until my hand hurt. After that, I could count from one hundred backwards perfectly. I understood it more when I kept failing in my history class because I found history boring. He made it interesting so I could continue with my life. All the stuff I’ve gone through, I’ve survived because of that one little thing he said. All fights with friends that made me cry, boyfriends that ended in heartbreak, teachers that I couldn’t stand but was forced to listen to, school work that I didn’t understand or didn’t want to do; all were examples of things that helped me realize what he said was really about.
It took about eleven years to fully understand what he meant when he said that. I hope that when another problem comes up, I can look back and think, “You know, Dad was right.” I look around in class and see people playing, I see people sleeping, I see texting, and talking, and I think, “I’m glad I’m looking around and learning, not just from my mistakes but from the mistakes of others, because if I did what they’re doing now, how will I pass my next test or be able to pay attention to the teacher? How will I make a better future for myself? I won’t.”
I didn’t understand when my grandma died, or when my dad was in the hospital, I didn’t even fully understand when he took me fishing, but as I got older I thought more and more about the words that he said and it made sense. I’ve tried my best to make my life fun, I’ve done all I can do without giving up, and I’ve learned from just about every mistake I’ve made. In doing that, I’ve made wonderful friends, whom I would be lost without, I’ve become a better person, and I’ve been able to slow down and smell the roses. Life is full of surprises and if you don’t take what’s given to you and use it to its best ability then there’s no real point in your life.
In the words of my dad, “Don’t get bored with life, open your eyes and look around you, there’s always something new to learn and mistakes to be made, so don’t give up, just keep trying your best to make use of the time you have.”
